Terrible Writing

I’ll be the first to admit that I have a problem. That problem is that I was once a young boy obsessed with bodily functions. I remember my grade 5 teacher asking us to write a story. So proud of my story I was. I thought it was great, and it was funny as heck. But the teacher rejected it and told me I had to write it again. I was aghast! How could this teacher not recognise professional writing when she saw it?

It might have something to do with the title I gave my story. Now remember how I said that I was once obsessed with bodily functions? Well the title for this story was ‘The Big Fart’. A story of a boy who literally blew himself and everyone else up. I know, real quality there. I should have kept it and submitted it for immediate publishing, but alas it is long gone. My teacher did not feel that this was an appropriate title, or story for that matter so I tried again.

My teacher grudgingly accepted my second story. This one titled ‘The Giant Burp’, a story where a boy literally blew himself and everyone else up. See a pattern? Yeah, I thought it might have been touch to spot too, but there ya go.

These days I am less obsessed with bodily functions and my writing has matured. Probably for the best.